Back and Forth

This blog site had been in existence since 2005. It started out as a venue for my personal heartaches. One day, I just kind of stopped updating it. My presumption then was that it would be automatically terminated due to inactivity. Years after, it finally haunted me. That time I was busy google’ing my name out of boredom. Yep, it's a serious habit of mine! It definitely freaked me out seeing actual names of my so-called first love or serious crush maybe, or whatever that may be called 5 years ago. Here's the catch, I forgot the password and surprisingly even the email address that I used to create the account. Of course, it was revived after a series of trial and error.

So many things happened since the last time I have written in here. What I was then is no longer half of who I am now. I guess, one obvious fact is that how I speak before is no longer the way I speak now. I tried to read every entry but I couldn't even finish one. I was so embarrassed. 

I realized that changes may be inevitable but these changes aren’t always about moving forward neither about living it backwards.

Of the many imperfections that I have come to accept over the years, there exists a perfect word for me – I am constantly "refurbished". I live in random choices and to live spontaneously is what keeps me going.

Just like the kids at the shore, they don't just wait for the waves, they don't mind pacing back and forth. Pretty much like how I deal with life... at least for now.